Saw an awful documentary last night about a glamour ‘model’ mum who fake tans her 11 year old girl and gives her acrylic nails and bleach blond hair. It was on BBC3 and if you get a chnce to watch it, catch it on iPlayer http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00cl393

It is so shocking that parents can do this with their kids- I loved the bit where they fail to get a job via a model agency because the girl doens’t look natural enough/at all- not sure what the mum expected- “Yeah, NEXT have just been in touch for a new catalogue shoot and they want a fake-tan bottle-blond kid for their clothing range.”

While I’m on the subject, how is it legal to pierce kids’ ears? My heart dies a bit when I see a baby/toddler with an earring (particularly boys)- Are you allowed to pierce any part of a minor? Can I pierce their nipple, or tongue, or eyebrow? While I’m at it, can I give them a tattoo?

Went to a BBQ yesterday and had a hushed chat with a couple of mates. One is due his first baby in 3 months, the other is a father of 2 (roughly the same age as mine). We explored the idea that women lie about how much childbirth hurts (they’re told to when they have ‘the talk’ from their mother when they hit puberty) Why do they do this? It could be to preserve the ‘childbirth trump-card’ that they play whenever things aren;t going their way… The fact that we whispered this conversation rather than sharing it with the mums in the room is probably a fair indication of our true feelings on the matter but as conspiracy theories go, it;s not the most far-fetched…. anyone see the conspiracy theory that 7 World Trade Centre was destroyed as an insurance claim scam by controlled explosion on 9/11- that one cracks me up.

Have just spent a (nother) week at the Bedruthan Steps Hotel which is just about the most awesome place we’ve been to stay with our kids. I’d throughly recommend it if you want a relaxing getaway that ticks boxes for everyone. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t cheap (a week will set you back over a grand) but it is awsome.

Things I love about it:

• For the kids- indoor soft play, heated paddling pool and shallow pool, kids tea included in evenings, kids entertainment (clown, disco, animals, pirates etc) every evening, outdoor play areas (playground, football pitch, tennis courts, trampoline)
• Brand new spa
• Creche
• Kids film club in evening
• Baby listening service, flick it on, let reception know and go have dinner, they’ll page you if they hear ANYTHING (really, if they hear anything at all they get in touch)
• Awesome food- dinner included in the price- the sort you’d get in a £40 a head restaurant.
• Great breakfast
• Nice bar (good beer and good coffee)
• Good rooms
• Brilliant staff- hundreds of them but you barely notice them
• Beautiful views across the beach- you can head down there for some great bodyboarding/surfing
• Just along from Watergate bay- nice beach- which is also home to a FIFTEEN restaurant (book ahead, it’s usually full for next 2 months!)

Got sent this by someone at work- loving it (feel moved to make my own soon) How do I do this with both kids though?ManBabies

Line from book “Then Jesus was nailed to a cross by some bad men”

“Daddy, what’s a cross?”

“It’s two bits of wood, put together like this”

“What’s nailed to?”

We have A Phil and Ted’s E3, one of the old ones that we got for a steal when the new sport ones were coming out. One of the main benefits of the new version is the adjustable handle. Being both quite tall, we had started to bemoan our decision to get one with quite a low handlebar. Luckily for us, my inquisitive mind stumbled on a solution. The handlebar can be removed by pressing in the tabs on each side. You can then turn it through 180 degrees and slot it back in (give it a bit of a push) and you have a much higher handlebar that this 6′4″ man hasn’t got to stoop for. Your back will thank you. Do it.

If you want any level of customer service then steer clear of this evil, time-wasting money-grabbing bastard of a company.

We got all excted with our first kid when we bought a Quinny buggy (3 wheeler, travel system with carry cot, car seat etc etc) It was fine but the paddle brake on the rear axle stopped working. We live in a hilly place so having a working brake is kind of important to us.

We contacted the supplier, Two Left Feet, who said that we owuld have to pay to ship the buggy back to them. Eventually they agreed to come and pick it up. After 2 days off work waiting around they came and collected it. We heard nothing for 6 weeks, when we finally got through to someone that could help they had no record of getting the buggy. They looked into it and found it in the corner of their warehouse, still in its box…. Wrangling continued until we wrote directly to their MD and insisted on our money back- we went and bought a Phil and Ted’s. We LOVE that- why did we ever buy anthing else? More on that another time. Two left Feet. FAIL.